He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Two words: nipple clamps
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