I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
