Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I love you. Go after that dick
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
