Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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