I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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