Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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