Moan for me like Helen Keller
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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