i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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