I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
