i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
