If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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