when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
