I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
