Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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