That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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