I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
