You smell like a Billy Joel song
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
