too bad you live with your parents still
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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