they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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