Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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