look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
