You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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