So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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