party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
