Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
