The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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