I heard we made out
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
