he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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