all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
