im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
