I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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