I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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