While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
