So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
