before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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