In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
