singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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