I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
