in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
