For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
