u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
