i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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