Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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