It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
