My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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