I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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