Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
