Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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