you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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