i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
