i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
