i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We need to get me chipped asap
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
