She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
